Tribute to the Victim

My dear loyal readers….

Before I continue let me offer my humble apologies for not posting part nineteen today. Today is dedicated to all those victims of abuse!

I sincerely thank all of you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to come back, day after day, to read Mumtaz’s story. Thank you for taking the time to comment and sharing your thoughts.

Unfortunately no post will be uploaded today. Today we will have a moment of silence for all those victims of abuse. Those who managed to get away, all those still suffering and trying to gather the courage to reach out and break free, and to all those who are past the agonising pain and unbearable heartbreak…

Remember, dear readers, that somewhere in the world, what I had written because of a hobby, someone is experiencing in REAL LIFE! Someone is getting raped, or beat to a pulp by a father, or husband, or even worse, a mother. And remember, more often than not, these children and women never find escape, they never break free, because they are judged by society, they are afraid. They have no one to turn to, they have no support structure, and if someone does offer assistance, most of the time it lasts mere minutes. Almost the moment they are free, the very people who helped them think they their work is done, they have taken them out of the harmful situation, and leave them to fend for themselves. These poor victims then find their way back in the dire positions they are trying so desperately to flee.

And their abusers knows that they have no true way out! They are helpless. They know that no one is going to save them, so they take further advantage and take the abuse up a notch each time, each day, each hour…

Read out, dear readers, let us remove ourselves from the shell that we have created in our societies and try to make their lives better in any way we can! For those of us that can, help them break free, or just lend an ear for those that need to unload their burdens. And if you can do none of that, then at least acknowledge them and their situations, and pray for them as hard as you can, asking Allah to ease their pain and suffering and remove them by some means from their harmful situations.

Abuse is not only physical. It is emotional and spiritual and mental too. Crushing the spirit and every ounce of hope that the victim may have left. Take a minute to make a dua, say a prayer. Close your eyes and open your heart.

To any victim that may be reading this. Whether you are still going through the abuse or you have left it behind you, I am talking directly to you! I feel for you, I feel your pain, I want to help you in some way. Reach out to someone, even if it just to talk, that is the first step… Don’t be afraid! Allah is always with you. Close your eyes and feel His presence. Talk to Him! Cry to Him! Plead with Him! Believe in Him!

Please feel free to leave your message for the victims of abuse. And if their are any victims out there feel free to share your story. Your anonymity is guaranteed.

Have a beautiful weekend!

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32 thoughts on “Tribute to the Victim

  1. SistEr Asma..assalaamualaikum…so far all ur posts I read were excellent but this one…the sincirity of it can be read thru each word …ما شاء الله …a heartfelt Duaa for all those going thru any kind of abuse wether phsically or emotionally…may الله ease ur pain n suffering n remove it …rememeber the help of الله is always near…dont ever give up hope on that …for those of us that arent going thru it اَلْحَمْدُ لِلّه n may we be a means of support for all those victims that are no matter wat race colour or creed they may be…

    • Ameen!
      Jazakallah, I am spurred on by the encouragement of my readers… I have come this far because of all of you…
      Excellent point you made, reminding us also that it doesnt matter who the victim is, and what religion or race they are…we need to look beyond that, and only that they need HELP!

  2. After reading ths, I cried my heart out αη∂ finally found d courage to tell Ʊ……. It felt like I ws reading my own story on ths chapter….

  3. May allah swt grant u hapiness nd peace nd contentment..by writin bout a “story”many ppl will have da courage 2 break free….dey will realise dat ntngs impossible.nd der is life outside dat miserable bubble….I love ur blog.nd may grant u strengt 2 continue..ameen

  4. From all thats happening around us and from the inspiration mandela was i think we should all say a heartfelt prayer as well as try our best to change try to be a helping hand seek out people who need care and just a shoulder and most of all let us all stop the judging please oh Allah hear their cries relieve them make it easy and grant the oppresors hidayat and a way to chAnge too -the oppressors sometimes comes from abused backgrounds too let us try to help them aswell -not condoning ther behaviour ofcourse

  5. What sheltered lives we live! How ungrateful and petty are we?! Thank you for opening our(my) eyes to some of what goes on out there,I won’t lie at times it was extremely difficult to continue on reading as your writing is so descriptive yet so gripping, Alhamdulillah for being able to be grateful,may Allah make us a means to help ease the suffering of people like this,people who feel alone and forgotten! Aameen

  6. Sister Asma I want to congratulate u on a blog well written, it’s gripping and has us in tears whilst bringing to us the reality of what is happening on our society
    To all those suffering out there, may ALLAH make it easy for all of u and grant u a way out of ur suffering

  7. I was just thinking about your blog earlier and realized how sheltered we live our lives… May Allah accept your efforts for creating this awareness. The least we can do is make dua for the abusers and victims

  8. As-Salaamu-Alaikum Dearest Sister Asma, Jazakallah for this post and awe inspiring blog. Some of us live a sheltered life yet there are other that have daily batlles. Your writing have given the reality of what is happening on our society a new meaning.

    As you mention Sister Asma many are suffering out there different types of abuse> My Heartfelt Dua’a: may Allah (swt) make it easy for each of us who may be going through what ever difficuly and ease the plights of all those who are suffering, Aameen.

  9. To the abused: may The Almighty remove your pain and suffering…To the abuser: may The Almighty grant you guidance…For the rest of us: we all may have our issues, but let’s be thankful we don’t endure such agony as appears to be rife in society. Haa Meem Laa Yunsaroon!

  10. Thank You Asmaa!! As usual u never fail to surprise me- I eagerly waited for another chapter, waiting to PING u all weekend- however this gesture u have posted is touching.. And Yes! To all those who’ve shared their thoughts on looking @ both sides of the coin by offerinf Forgiveness and Dua to the perpertrators… They too deserve a chance for Forgiveness and Change as it is a vicious cycle that needs to be broken.. From abused to abuser, they probably don’t know any better.. I learnt that by Forgiving my perpertrators I really set myself Free- and YES too to the fan who spoke on forgiving doesn’t mean condoning the action it means just letting the whole thing GO.. Let Allah judge. After all our Beloved Prophet (PBUH) endured so much and yet He could Forgive.. So too had our Madiba stood for: Forgiving means releasing yourself from Prison … For the abused: Well Done… You have come this far… You have survived.. Your journey had a Purpose.. To lead others to Allahs Divine Light.. Much Love Always… From a Survivor xx

  11. I found out about your blog just 2 hours ago and I couldn’t stop reading… These are the things sisters should read to broaden their horizons and open their minds. They live in these shells, not knowing the ugliness of this world. I applaud you on writing this blog. You giving a voice for the unspoken. I have officially become a fan and I cannot wait to read more about the life of Mumtaz.

  12. Assalamu alaykum, amazing blog sister may ALLAH reward u 4 ur efforts n give u the strength 2 carry on writing so we can c reality n help those who r in need 2 escape emotional n physical torture. I went thru something similar, but not as worse alhamdulillah, I had an evil drunken violent step dad who would beat my beloved mum evry single night over the smallest excuses n I had 2 witness this n alot of other bad things for 5 yrs of my teenage life going thru school n college,truly the worst part of my life, when reading this it brought back all the nightmares n I found it hard 2 carry on but at the same time wanted 2 c mumtaz break free, thruout the 5 years me n my mum would try 2 escape but my mum has a very soft heart n my step dad would cry n apologise n say he’ll change but he used to go back to being the same again after a few weeks, alhamdulillah me n my beloved mum managed 2 finally escape from my evil step dad after 5yrs after telling someone n we got help alhamdulillah, ALLAH gave him hidayat after 6months of us leaving n he stopped the drinking n violence,my mum went back 2 him as he had completely changed n it’s been 6yrs they’ve been together n he’s a completely different man n regrets his actions alot alhamdulillah,altho very few change when they say they will. Alhamdulillah I got married so I didnt have 2 go back n remember those nightmares in the house we used 2 live in before. To all the readers out there these things r unfortunately real n we need 2 make dua 2 ALLAH 2 protect everyone who’s going thru this n make dua ALLAH gives hidayah 2 the abuser n always listen 2 someone when they need 2 talk, it can make a huge difference n insha ALLAH they can get the courage 2 break free!

  13. BISMILLAHIR RAHMAANIR RAHEEM

    SISTER YOUR WRITING IS REALITY AND FOR MOST MUSLIM WOMEN WE LEAD A LIFE SO SHELTERED THAT WHEN THESE THINGS ACTUALLY HAPPEN WE ARE SO ILL EQUIPPED. A MUSLIMAH LIVES A FAIRYTALE LIFE UNTIL SHES THROWN INTO A SITUATION THAT YANKS HER SANITY WHEN ABUSE SHOWS ITS UGLY FACE. MY SISTERS IN ISLAM EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL DEEN THE REALITY IS ALL THOSE WHO WILL ADVISE YOU GET OUT OF THIS ABUSE , HOW CAN YOU ALLOW A MAN TO BEAT YOU WHATS WRONG WITH YOU? ETC WHEN A VICTIM ACTUALLY RUNS OUT AND SAYS IM FREE ITS THE BEGINNING OF LONELINESS BCOZ NO ONE IS THERE FOR YOU NOW. ALL THE WORLD TURNS BLIND , DEAF, AND BELIEVE ME I SAY THIS FROM EXPERIENCE YOU ARE ALONE.

    I WRITE THIS FROM EXPERIENCE WHERE YOU BECOME AN EMBARASSMENT TO YOUR PARENTS, THEY CANT HANDLE IT, THEY CANT FACE THE PEOPLE! YOUR OWN SIBLINGS BECOME STRANGERS AS IF NOW U ARE A BURDEN , YOUR CHILDREN CANT HANDLE THE ISSUE BCOZ THEIR IN LAWS WOULD THINK LESS OF THEM . FRIENDS NEVER ANSWER YOUR CALLS BCOZ THEY SCARED YOU MIGHT ASK A FAVOUR …..

    I HAVE SURVIVED ABUSE AT THE HANDS OF AN EDUCATED MAN WHO IS SO ARROGANT , PROUD AND IN DESPERATE NEED OF HELP YET IS IN TOTAL DENIAL. WALLAHI HE HAS BEATEN ME , BROKEN ME , HUMILIATED ME, ABANDONED ME , DECIEVED ME, LIED ABOUT ME, SLANDERED ME AND DONE TO ME EVERYTHING IN AN ATTEMPT TO KILL MY BEING….. LIKE MUMTAZ ALLAH HAS A REASON FOR NOT LETTING DEATH OVERTAKE US AND THE FACT IS IF ALLAH PUT IT UPON YOU THEN HE WILL RESCUE YOU ALSO.

    HAVING INTERMITTENTLY READ YOUR BLOG I WISH I COULD WRITE MY STORY ALSO THIS IS A TRUE WISH AND TO PROVIDE STRENGTH TO OUR SISTERS IN DESPAIR…….

    READING THIS TO SOME OF YOU IS A STORY AND YET TO OTHERS OF US A REALITY THAT PAINS US TO THE VERY CORE OF OUR BEING.FOR ALL SURVIVORS THE ROAD TO PARADISE WOULD LOSE ITS VALUE IF LIFE WAS SMOOTH SAILING! ALLAH IS WITH US ALL.

  14. For many years I was an introvert, insecure and couldnt make friends. I think I got married just because it was a ‘good’ proposal and expected of me. With hindsight, I could have dealt with a difficult MIL differently, but I was young, and didnt have the courage to seek the right guidance. When my 3rd child was a lil girl, all my memories of being raped by the neighbours son came rushing back. I was determined not to let my LG go through what I did.
    Alhamdulillah Allah gave me a wonderful and supportive husband, and with his help, I went for counciling. I helped my LG grow into such a strong, self confident young woman, that she sometimes scares me with her courage.
    I wish I hadnt lived so many years in a shell, I didnt forsee getting help from people I least expected to understand me.
    To all you survivors, it is Never too late to face your fears and seek help. You never know who your saviour will be untill you reach out.

    • You got through it, Alhamdulillah, your daughter takes after you in her fierce courage because not everyone is strong enough to overcome what you have! You give hope to those who have kept it all in…. May Allah heal you and ease your pain!

  15. Sister Muslimah: please do start a blog. You say it is your wish as it could be a means to provide strength to muslims in despair. Make like Nike and Just Do It! May Allaah mend your broken relationships, Aamen!

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