New Beginnings & Old Dreams

After so much thought, sleepless nights and tormenting guilt, I have decided not to continue Mumtaz’s story. I understand the deep disappointment the readers will have, like unfinished business, you will wonder what would have been…. but please understand that this is something I am doing for myself! I am a woman too, with dreams and wishes.

I am avid reader, an addiction inherited from my mother, and my late grandfather. Read my grandfather’s story here. Now maybe you can understand this deep, almost desperate need for me to see my work in an actual paper-back. It is a dream I have had ever since I can remember. I always said one day, tomorrow, next year…. and then my one day came, and I began scribbling a few words in that notebook. I pushed myself day and in and day out, and felt a sense of self-guilt when I had no words and suffered writer’s block. And it took me FIVE years to complete it. To read it again and again, and change things and edit mistakes, and make sure the words flowed in exactly the right way. I sat into the wee hours of the night clicking away. Sometimes the words came by itself, at other times I felt as though I could bang my head and empty nut shells would fall out. But I persevered. I worked hard. I need, just for this one time, to be selfish. To accomplish my dream.

There were many times when I lost hope, I thought it was all rubbish. Who would read it? Who would believe that there are Muslim women out there getting abused? Who would think there are Muslims maids out there? It’s so cliche that a millionaire’s son fell in love with the maid. It’s all fake, it’s all dumb, it’s all childish….

And there were other times, when I would read my work as if someone else wrote it, with tears pouring down my cheeks. Who put these words in my heart? I’m not that intellect with her glasses perched on her nose, using words in clever circumstances. I doubted myself, I was proud of myself, I was scared of what people would think, I was excited when I shared Mumtaz’s story with a few close souls while I wrote. This has been a learning journey, I grew as much, if not more than Mumtaz!

I humbly apologise, Dear Readers! You guys have made this  blog what it is! This blog s not not only about Mumtaz and her journey. It is about ALL women! The survivor! The Victim! The Mother! The Nurse! The Maid! The Teacher! The Intellectual! Ths is where we unite as one and just be ourselves. Of course, the men are welcome. To learn about us, to see the world through our eyes. We will help you understand why we cry, why we want chocolates and why we remain silent (if we can understand it ourselves).

On Monday I begin a new story. The story of Bilkis. A very naive, sheltered girl, whose breaking point is tested again and again. Bilkis’s journey is meant for my blog readers. We will all be travelling with her up the hill and back down and up again on the same pace. I will not know what is next much sooner than you will. If your heart is too broken and you are sorely disappointed in me, I understand, but please give Bilkis a chance…

Wish me well in my dreams for Mumtaz’s story. Pray and make dua that whatever is best for me Allah will hand to me.

Much Love

Asmaa

P.s. If there are any women out there that would like to share their stories, please email me survivin@yahoo.co.za

I will share one story with everyone every Saturday, the authors identity will not be revealed, and utmost discretion will be observed.

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102 thoughts on “New Beginnings & Old Dreams

  1. I am so done with this whole blog craze…Every blog I have enjoyed stopped halfway and left me hanging. So disappointing. I will not be reading any more blogs from now but I will definitely buy this book since it only seems fair 🙂

    Sister Asma,Congrats! You are an excellent writer. I wish you all the best for the future. May you achieve exactly what you are hoping for! Inshallah.

  2. Not every1 can afford to buy books or ebooks!so for some this is were the story ends and they will always wonder what happen to mumtaz…..so ɪ understand its her dream to publish but without the comments of all the loyal readers sister asmaa would not have found the courage to try to publish this book!!!!

    • Dear Rabz,
      We are all here to support these brilliant writers… Hence a platform for their recognition to fulfil their dreams.. To be writers. I wish to offer any person who wants to purchase Asma’s book and cannot afford it to please inbox Asma, and a copy will be sent to them. My pledge to support Asma on her journey and to purchase the books to gift the readers who are unable to afford it. May Allah keep Asma n others like her in their quest to fulfil a dream, Successful, Always. Our purpose is ultimately to support them in their journey to accomplish a goal and if any one of them make it, then a salute to the readers and much gratitude and blessins are extended their way. Let us not attach to any blog and be disheartened if its gone. Let us support them.

      • Beautifully said taz! I also read many blogs and most bloggers cannot connect with people the way Asma has.

        Asma, reach for your dream and publish! I prefer a book versus a screen!

        Xxx

  3. You’re an excellent writer and you have great talent .. I’m glad you following your dreams and publishing I hope everything works out 🙂 where will the link for bilkis’s story come out, please let me know thanks

  4. The irony is that I stumbled across this blog last nite. Sat up till the wee hours of this morning totally captivated by mumtaaz’s journey, and then Bang!!!! The crushing disappointment.

    • Dear Bibi,
      Welcome to the real world… Most people experience disappointments… Some lose blogs whilst others lose toys or homes and yet more… Lose people. Bless the writers and wish them success. Much Love, Taz

  5. I think u shudnt leave us hanging like u can mayb publish another book… o stil continue wit da blog n stil publish it cos ders many oda ppl dat wil buy it o read it but leanvng us hangng I dnt tink is a good idea….!!!!!!!!!

  6. I’m also very disappointed everthing is about fame and fortune nowadays.don’t knw y didn’t u stop early when only had a few ppl reading but now u reached ur 200000 nw u wana stop.sad and disappointed

    • Omg why must people be so dramatic? Have you not seen the section where Asma asked if her readers would possibly purchase a book? She publicly stated her intentions.

  7. Reading what you said about being a writer and working on ideas for 5 yrs is truly amazing and sumtin I can relate to. I write for fun. I go into my own world and write stories for nearly 6 yrs now. I can relate to wondering if its dumb and then sumtymz being surprised that I wrote it. And that dream of having that published is sumtin every writer wud have…. I’m glad that you have such an opportunity to publish ur story and I hope Insha Allah it gets published 4 more to see because it is a brilliant story with exposure to issues that people are unaware of. Including me. So I do hope it gets published. All the best.

  8. I feel that we have been used to form a fan base and then just dropped when it suits the author. I’m sure that avenues were searched to publish a book before posting on this blog. They were unsuccessful and now that the writer has the exposure that she needs, through the support received via this very blog, she chooses to end this midway, almost forcing people to buy the book. How very sad. Ethically, the story should be completed on this blog and if you are truly a writer then surely this isn’t a once off wonder! Surely there’s other material to write and publish in the future. I’m sorry that I wasted my time following this blog and supporting your practice run. I shall definitely not purchase the book.

  9. Totally agree with FD. Seems the story was only blogged to see how many fans you could get. It is very disappointing that you could drop your readers just like that. Isn’t it enough that so many people have read this story, but I guess it’s true what a previous poster said, it’s all about fame and fortune.

  10. To all the disappointed readers, please bless Asma on her journey. Thank You for supporting her, I’m sure she is grateful that your support has helped her achieve a dream. Remember that these blogs, like you-tube and soxial media is a platform for aspiring artists to move forward. What kind of a people are we if we cannot be happy for someone moving forward. Do not let emotion cloud your vision, for today you are sad that that you lost a blog, whilst someone somewhere may have lost a home, a parent, a livelihood… Let this be a lesson to not attach yourself to anything for nothing is Forever.. Everything is temporary to give you life’s lessons. Be Grateful for what we have so that we are showered with more to be Grateful for. Complaining only attracts more to complain about. So let’s Shout it for Asma n others like her and pledge today to support every blog artist to help them succeed in fulfilling a dream. Together we can fufil Our Purpose- To make Dreams come True!! Let’s make that our goal! And I pkedge to support Asma in purchasing her book to Gift those who can’t afford it. Much Love, Taz (a proud supporter of ALL OUR BLOG- WRITERS)

    • I don’t think losing a blog can be compared to losing a parent or home. A blog is replaceable and only interesting until the next best thing comes along…there will always be another author to fill that void…a parent, however, is irreplaceable. While I agree with your sentiments of wishing the author well there is no need to fall into the trap guilt-tripping people who are upset that the blog has ended. Advise without the attached guilt is more likely to be welcomed.
      Good Luck Author but maybe include a list of ‘real’ books which you consider as favorites to keep your fans literary needs fulfilled till your book is published

  11. Today all these blogs have become the same, these upcoming authors just use us, if it wasn’t for us who read and follow these blogs then they wouldn’t have anything to blog in the first place. I heard that this author wasn’t getting any joy with publishing this book before as no one wanted to publish it and now after people like us have supported and being loyal readers to this blog, she now wants to publish it. Remember that if we didn’t read this blog and follow it, this author would have still been getting rejected by publishing house’s, I think that by leaving us hanging like this makes the author seem very ungrateful to us blog readers . I won’t be following the new blog by this author because she left us hanging now so there’s no grantee she won’t do it again with this new blog. Its no use reading blogs that have no end . its a waste of our time and its like buying a book with only half a story written in it.

    • Doesn’t companies do trials, tests and things on customers to check marketing gestures? Dramatic sjoe, for grown people who have jobs and incomes and companies my word I am shocked.

  12. Yayy! I’m so happy for u girl!! Go now, u have so many Blessings from those of us who are here to support you. And those who are angry, sad and disappointed… Well that’s their stuff really.. U can’t carry all their baggage as u progress to fulfil your dreams. Yes I know you are Grateful for their support in helping you get that much closer to your dream, however, they should also be Grateful to you cos you have given them Disappointment to deal with- an emotion that these people will keep attracting because they choose to- you by no means are responsible foe anyones sadness or disppointments. If they feel this way, you have prepared them for bigger disappointments Life may throw @ them. Until they don’t Choose to Let it go, they are imprisoned by their own emotions. I pray that All who read these blogs can Support these writers and make their purpose for reading them. So readers have a goal: to help put a smike on someones face as they contribute to their success. Fly my Angel… You Did the Best you Could.. And… U Made it!! Much Love Always Xxx

  13. Whilst I am happy for u m wish u every success I too don’t think its fair that. U suddenly stop . Don’t think its fair on all d bolggers .

  14. I am so shocked to read so many negative comments.A lot of are acting like Asma is being unfair somehow,yet it her wonderful writing that has entertained you! And might I remind you that all these posts come at no cost to you.Let us be happy for our sister that is getting to fulfil her dream. I for one will be buying the book.Atleast I won’t have to wait 24hours in between posts haha!!

  15. Typical indian mannerism,always start somethng that they can’t finish!y bother with the so called “bilkis”story wen u know u wonr follow thru!a blog enables a blogger/writter to interact with its readers,writng a book isolates the writter frm its readers!any way good luck with all ue endevours!I believe if u can’t folow thru with a blog u started than I higly doubt u will actualy publish ur “book”so done with this blog phase of bought writters who can’t complete wat they started!#antibloggerfrmtoday

  16. this blog was by far the best ive read yip i am disappointed tht it has ended bt at the same time i wish u all the best in publishing ur book…….just a suggestion tht i alwayz wondered wat mumtaaz’s mother felt when she arrived home and didnt find her if u cud myb right a chapter of tht it will b great……………..good luck in the future

  17. Congratulations, may The Almighty guide you and carry you from strength to strength. Well done on making the effort to fill the gap with #Bilkis for the blog readers, taking responsibility for the audience you created.

    I will buy your book. And when my daughters are old enough, I will make them read your book, many lessons encapsulated within.

  18. My dearest asmaa
    My darling cousin , my sister and my oldest and dearest friend……..
    We have shared so much in our lives growing up……the tears the laughter the “fights” and most of all the best times of our lives!!!!!!!!
    If there’s any1 who knows this is ur dream, its me !!!!!!! So I say this to u that u are here only becoz it is the blessing of Almighty Allah and ur sacrifice that u have made over 5 long years and unless and until these readers have done something like this over a 5 year period, will they truly understand what this means to u, As ur fan I implore u to do what is best 2 get this beautiful story published and 4 those who felt that they have been used, I’m sorry that u guys are so shallow and that u guys can’t see the bigger picture behind this beautiful journey. Instead of feeling bad it ended why can’t we apart of its journey! ? Those who have read mumtaz’s story will read Any other blog that u ever write and this I say with full garantee……Asmaa remember we can’t please every1 all of the time so aim to please yourself and others that are true readers…….I have spent thousands on reading material in my life especially when I couldn’t afford it so those who live to read as we do will buy this book……and I stand with TAZ in her pledge to gift this book to sincere readers who can’t afford it!!!
    Asmaa u have come this far congrats and Alhamdullilah! We are all blessed to have caught a preview of this awesome story, thank you for sharing! I will wait anxiously for ur book!
    Much love and TONZ of duas!!!!!!
    Zaira
    #oldfriends4ever

  19. Jazakallah Aunty Asmaa for the lovely story and eye opener u have given us in this blog. I wish u all the best with ur blog and if you ever need help, email me and I will do all I can to help you. You have a dream and u deserve to make it to the new york bestsellers list. A blog is not paying you for the time you have put into this story. Ignore all negativity of people that do not realize your true battle n sleepless nights. You are talented and deserve to reap you rewards for your efforts.

  20. mashallah and congratulations!! may you be successful in your venture. going to miss this blog. such a good story. I admire your dedication- can’t believe the effort and the courage it took to complete this book for five years. good luck.

    p.s- I’m from sri lanka and I hope this book gets published here one day inshallah.

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